An online friend asked 'What now?' after he saw I'd published my book. By the way, he said he's not going to read it (even though he's is in it), or he might 'burst an artery or three.' (Not all your friends will be a fan of your books). I did send him the parts where he's mentioned and he thought it was a fair assessment, neither embellishing, nor demonising.
I'm going to answer some of the 'What now?' in this blog post.
The ebook and paperback formats of my memoir, Bipolar Courage: Are You Sure You're Not Autistic? is already live on Amazon (all major platforms), just a few hours of publishing it. I'll link some of the main marketplaces at the end of this blog. There is a free app to read on any device, if you don't have a Kindle (I don't have one).
I've included a sample chapter 1 in this blog post, free (I can't get the paragraph indents to align in this blog but they do in the books). It's an unconventional love story, in the world of autism and mental health advocacy.
I was aiming to publish it in September, the beginning of a New Zealand Spring. I've done it! (Incredibly challenging with my disabilities).
One of the great things about being an independent 'indie' author, is that I can choose my own publication date. With flexibility to move things around, if I need to.
I had therapy today (for PTSD). My clinicial psychologist asked, 'Why September?' as that's the month I'm aiming for. In this blog post, I'll give a few reasons why, with a little context.
The account, Passionate Intensity, no longer exists but it's what I'm currently writing about. I took some screenshots as memory triggers, before deleting it, to help me sequence timelines as accurately as I can, only shifting things back and forth a little if it fits better with my storytelling themes.
I was 'in disguise' in plain sight. The account was made for Maxwell. I feel sure he recognised me, as he replied to me in Deutsch and there was a bit of cryptic back and forth with our bios. In my memoir, I will give the bigger picture of what happened and why I did what I did and what had happened before and after.
My last blog post on this blog was how avoidance and tangents actually resulted in my getting things done. My last blog post though was on my 'old' blog for Bipolar Courage, because I felt it fit there better: 'My enemies made me stronger'.
Will try keep this blog post as brief as possible.
I'm actually avoiding currently. Avoiding getting back to a project that I am determined to complete in 2023 (my second memoir, Bipolar Courage).
I don't want to harp on much about my diagnoses on this blog. I will mention in this post that I am diagnosed with the avoidance and shutdown presentation of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I am into my 5th year of treatment and my psychologist has applied to extend therapy to the end of this year.
I have improved a lot, yet I still struggle and I didn't really want to continue with detailing how in my old blog and vlog on bipolarcourage.com. Part of me feels like I could just delete it all but then I put goodness knows how many hours of effort into it. It takes courage to be vulnerable and show the raw stuff.
Recently I have been transitioning away from advocacy stuff (a 15-year journey in all) and I've been hyperfocussed on setting up this website (using self-taught skills). In this blog post, I want to try say how avoidance can actually result in getting stuff done.
Kiwis can't fly, right? In this blog post, I want to show that not only can they fly but they can soar. I am a former 'Oz Kiwi' (New Zealand citizen living in Australia) and back home as a 'Kiwi'. Some people have asked me if I'm Australian, even though I don't think I picked up the accent too much.
I want to avoid mention of advocacy and political stuff as much as possible after this blog post (I'm allergic to politics). I had typed yet not published some stuff, so I figured I may as well use some of what I'd processed this past month in this blog post.
It's not well-known that the main advocacy group to bring about major reform, Oz Kiwi, was founded by a disabled woman, who did not personally benefit from it.
Update: I resumed editing this blog post on 17 May 2023. Adding some extra information, links etc. I'd gone off on a tangent winding up my blog on Bipolar Courage, which I intend to leave up as a resource. It's kind of how I write books, out of order but books are way more complex as I tell stories, not just like a series of minimally edited essays or blog posts. I also spend way longer on my books than blog posts, trying to reorganise the content to flow better for the reader.
It's evening of 30 April 2023. A whole lot has happened this week, month, year.
A week before there was a huge announcement about some major policy changes affecting an enormous number of people, I made a decision to discontinue my advocacy as Bipolar Courage. I have been burnt out with it for a long time and it just got to the point where it was too exhausting to try speak on camera for the vlog on YouTube. I recorded over 1,000 videos and intend to leave them up as a resource (even though sometimes I've been tempted to private or delete some of them).