Currently listening to the chorus of 'You're the Voice' (John Farnham) on repeat. I made a short video with some encouraging comments from my mental health YouTube channel, Bipolar Courage. I spent hours in hyperfocus last night, to complete the blog post.
Just going to write a short blog post, while listening to that part of the song, as I feel burnt out. Will be stepping back to paint etc for a bit.
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Supportive comments from my mental health YouTube channel, Bipolar Courage. Sometimes, I feel like deleting it, mainly because of harrassment from trolls. I have screenshot some of the supportive comments as a compilation here. I have never been paid for my advocacy efforts, nor do I wish to be. My main goal when starting Bipolar Courage was to reduce stigma. I don't even like to call myself an 'advocate' anymore. Thank you for expressing your appreciation. I appreciate it.
I recently spoke at a public hearing about proposed changes to community arts grants. Under the new proposed criteria, I would probably have not have been approved funding (just NZ$500 twice) for my art as therapy solo exhibitions. It was a life-changing experience and even though speaking is stressful for me, I spoke up, on behalf of others in the community who may potentially benefit.
It's 1AM on 1 January 2024 in New Zealand. I should get some sleep so will try keep this short.
I now live in town, so walked down to see the fireworks display in my town. We'd had heavy rain and it finally stopped. My shoes were drenched from walking through wet grass. My first pics for the year were fireworks. I recently made the decision to move out of the family home and go flatting (for the first time in nearly 30 years). Other than that, since my divorce, I had lived in a hostel for a year (full of druggies and boozers). I made this decision after Mum decided to put the house on the market, after Dad died three months ago.
I moved nearly two weeks ago, to live with a young family. Coinciding with my move, I received an email from Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) stating they would be making a lump sum payment for impairment for my mental injury of posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD. Extract from my journal from over 5 years ago, when I was starting therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD):
"I won a positivity award at work…Seems ironic as feeling so negative internally about it. Might paint Snowball – a longhaired fluffy white cat…with purplish eyes…a book cover for Pet Purpose? What is her hope?" An online friend asked 'What now?' after he saw I'd published my book. By the way, he said he's not going to read it (even though he's is in it), or he might 'burst an artery or three.' (Not all your friends will be a fan of your books). I did send him the parts where he's mentioned and he thought it was a fair assessment, neither embellishing, nor demonising.
I'm going to answer some of the 'What now?' in this blog post. The ebook and paperback formats of my memoir, Bipolar Courage: Are You Sure You're Not Autistic? is already live on Amazon (all major platforms), just a few hours of publishing it. I'll link some of the main marketplaces at the end of this blog. There is a free app to read on any device, if you don't have a Kindle (I don't have one).
I've included a sample chapter 1 in this blog post, free (I can't get the paragraph indents to align in this blog but they do in the books). It's an unconventional love story, in the world of autism and mental health advocacy. I was aiming to publish it in September, the beginning of a New Zealand Spring. I've done it! (Incredibly challenging with my disabilities). One of the great things about being an independent 'indie' author, is that I can choose my own publication date. With flexibility to move things around, if I need to.
I had therapy today (for PTSD). My clinicial psychologist asked, 'Why September?' as that's the month I'm aiming for. In this blog post, I'll give a few reasons why, with a little context. The account, Passionate Intensity, no longer exists but it's what I'm currently writing about. I took some screenshots as memory triggers, before deleting it, to help me sequence timelines as accurately as I can, only shifting things back and forth a little if it fits better with my storytelling themes.
I was 'in disguise' in plain sight. The account was made for Maxwell. I feel sure he recognised me, as he replied to me in Deutsch and there was a bit of cryptic back and forth with our bios. In my memoir, I will give the bigger picture of what happened and why I did what I did and what had happened before and after. |
Xanthe Wyse('Zan-thee Wise'). Disclaimer: the author of this blog is not an expert by profession and her opinions should not be taken as expert advice.
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