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I've just been through a hard drive to delete stuff I don't need anymore. There are still a heap of photos I took during a time when I was struggling. I haven't deleted all of them yet, as they are connected to my writing (inspired by my experiences, trying to communicate what bipolar disorder with post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD are like). I find a photo diary to be helpful for my creative process. At times in my life, I will take a lot of photos, of things that other people ignore (or don't even notice). At the time, they had significance to me, of something I was processing (grief, trauma) or linked to themes of things felt inspired to create (also processing).
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'Maxwell' (whom I'm writing about in my memoir) said that I'm 'compelled to create.' I was thinking today about what being creative means to me. Of course, this is also a complex interaction with other traits, such as my introversion and mental health struggles (both of which Maxwell also has). I think Maxwell is also a creative, yet hasn't fully untapped his creative potential yet. Some of our shared traits is why we connected, I think. Other than mutual attraction. Whereas, a creative who is extroverted and who doesn't have mental health struggles may have quite different characteristics. I recall some years back, someone mentored me and said I was yet to fulful my creative potential. This person was right. Now my creative expression is my entire meaning of life. I'll make a list of creative traits that apply to me. The painting below, Soar Purpose, was inspired by my connection with Maxwell. Which also inspired the title of a novel I am still writing called Soar Purpose and this blog.  Soar Purpose, acrylics on canvas by Xanthe Wyse Kiwis can't fly, right? In this blog post, I want to show that not only can they fly but they can soar. I am a former 'Oz Kiwi' (New Zealand citizen living in Australia) and back home as a 'Kiwi'. Some people have asked me if I'm Australian, even though I don't think I picked up the accent too much. I want to avoid mention of advocacy and political stuff as much as possible after this blog post (I'm allergic to politics). I had typed yet not published some stuff, so I figured I may as well use some of what I'd processed this past month in this blog post. It's not well-known that the main advocacy group to bring about major reform, Oz Kiwi, was founded by a disabled woman, who did not personally benefit from it.  It's evening of 30 April 2023. A whole lot has happened this week, month, year. A week before there was a huge announcement about some major policy changes affecting an enormous number of people, I made a decision to discontinue my advocacy as Bipolar Courage. I have been burnt out with it for a long time and it just got to the point where it was too exhausting to try speak on camera for the vlog on YouTube. I recorded over 1,000 videos and intend to leave them up as a resource (even though sometimes I've been tempted to private or delete some of them).  Collage from some of my cut up paintings |
Xanthe Wyse('Zan-thee Wise'). 
Disclaimer: the author of this blog is not an expert by profession and her opinions should not be taken as expert advice.
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