The account, Passionate Intensity, no longer exists but it's what I'm currently writing about. I took some screenshots as memory triggers, before deleting it, to help me sequence timelines as accurately as I can, only shifting things back and forth a little if it fits better with my storytelling themes.
I was 'in disguise' in plain sight. The account was made for Maxwell. I feel sure he recognised me, as he replied to me in Deutsch and there was a bit of cryptic back and forth with our bios. In my memoir, I will give the bigger picture of what happened and why I did what I did and what had happened before and after.
I took this photo on Christmas Day, when I walked past a boat that showed my reflection. I uploaded it so Maxwell would be sure it was me, yet I was still in disguise.
I'm writing one of the final chapters and will flick through some relevant screenshots from this account before I deleted it. Memories can be merged or swapped in order (at least with a mind like mine), so I am doing research with my own records to place things in sequence best I can, with also enjoying my creative expression.
I will avoid long blog posts for how, as want to focus on completing the memoir, Bipolar Courage: are you sure you're not autistic? Maxwell said I am full of passionate intensity. He is too. Two complex minds that connected and sometimes clashed. I am expecting to self-publish the memoir by September 2023.
Maxwell acknowledged that I only reveal what I want to reveal. This is true from my advocacy journey, my books, my blogs, my vlog and my friendships. I may seem open but I actually selectively reveal.
I expect gossip has gone around, so I am being very selective about what I reveal in this memoir, which is more about my emotional vulnerability than anything. The memoir focuses on my connection with Maxwell.
All characters have no easily identifiable features (just putting that out there, yet again, as there have already been attempts to sabotage it). I'm doing this with vagueness, so I can detail what I want to detail. I've really enjoyed this project and after a lot of hard work, it's nearly ready to reveal to the world.
I'm having so much fun writing near the end of my memoir. Just a small extract, linked to the screenshots above, after I made an account just for Maxwell:
I added a forget-me-not cut from another artwork with ‘Forget-me-not. Was ist Liebe?’ which means ‘What is love?’in German language. I knew Maxwell was fluent.
Everything was very short, so it seemed very different to my usual way of speaking. Yet everything was cryptically aimed for Maxwell, in public, hiding in plain sight, where he had thousands of followers and plenty of enemies who were also now my enemies.
I wasn’t sure if anyone else would recognise my art transformed but I know he had seen these paintings before I’d cut them up.
I replied to Maxwell's comment which had a picture of a fox.
‘Ataahua,’ is all I said, which meant 'beautiful' in Maori language. I figured if I kept it short and sweet, others would be less likely to recognise me.
Maxwell replied to me in Deutsch within just a few minutes. He must have scrolled my brief feed to see the ‘Was ist Liebe?’ comment.
My German language since high school was rusty that I had to look up a translation then also a reply.
Then everything else, I posted on my feed, knowing he might be watching. I added a short video, where I was behind the camera. ‘Meri Kirihimete,’ I said. Which translated from te reo Maori to Merry Christmas.
Maxwell updated his bio to say, ‘Energy can never be destroyed; it can only be displaced.’
I added a pic of a collage made from the cut up Synchronicity painting, positioning the heads of the birds so they were similar to yin and yang. ‘Samvega. Energy can never be destroyed.’
Maxwell wrote a comment that he enjoyed cryptic stuff. He changed his bio a few times to reflect that he was responding to me. We were both enjoying this. The connection hadn’t gone.