A very talented artist friend asked me if I'd intended for my fire goddess painting to be named 'Devine' rather than 'Divine.' I actually checked back and her name is definitely 'Devine.' She's mentioned in my memoir, now in the polishing stages.
I don't want to drastically alter the manuscript, so I've been writing some blog posts with additional linked information, for those interested in my creative process. The memoir I'm currently finalising, is probably way more accurate than a typical memoir, as I've spent a lot of time cross-checking my journals, vlog etc. I decided to cross-check about the origins of why I chose 'Devine.'
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I was editing a bit of my memoir, Bipolar Courage: Are you sure you're not autistic? The story is written and I'm two-thirds of the way through, polishing it, best I can. I was quite amused at my own writing, which I cross-checked with a video, as I wasn't sure if I'd lip-synched or sang along to a song. I laughed when I watched some of it back.
I've been working on a memoir the past 18 months or so. I'm up to the final editing and proof-reading stages. I feel a bit worried I have broken lots of rules of grammar but then I think, 'Stuff it!' There are too many grammar snobs out there, hung up on rules, yet write boring stories.
I've just had a chat to a friend who has taught English and German for years. She said that a lot of people, including American writers, are being more flexible about grammar these days. Overly formal grammar can sound stuffy and take away from the essense of the story and expression. Listening to music while I'm doing the final editing of my manuscript. Music helps me to stay focused, to process and helps buffer the difficult themes. I have just edited a very triggering chapter halfway through my memoir, Bipolar Courage: are you sure you're not autistic? Triggering as it has themes like suicide (which I haven't detailed here).
A song came on that I don't recall hearing before, 'Private Emotion,' by Ricky Martin featuring Meja. I listened to it several times while working on this chapter plus this little snippet in a blog post. This book is my most emotionally vulnerable yet, about an intense connection and occasional clashes with an autistic man, Maxwell. Then, I listened to 'Fly Away' by Lenny Kravitz. I'm having a bit of time out from working on my memoir, as I'm burnt out out with it at the moment. The main reason my book projects take so long, is that I need lots of breaks after intense sessions of working on them.
In my last blog post, I wrote about brats. I had a therapy session with a clinicial psychologist today and I mentioned how I observed the brat to be a role played in a dynamic where one didn't get enough healthy attention as a child. It can be a situation where a sibling needed more attention. My psychologist said it can go two ways. The brat or the perfect child. I was the perfect child. I see this as a role. I'll try explain a little more. I tend to write a blog post when there's something I want to expand on a little but not include in my current book projects. But I may revisit the themes later. I can touch-type reasonably well, a skill I learnt as teenager. My hand writing is usually very messy and I tend to journal more in my own form of shorthand and loose mindmaps.
The topic for this blog post is bullies and brats. Just to get some ideas out that are going through my head, so that I can get back to focussing on my current book project. Linked to my memoir but this is not directly going into my memoir, as I want to focus on the storyline. Just another draft extract from my memoir, that I've just written, going off on a little tangent. Tangents are my thing, so I can't avoid them completely. I decided to share it here, just in case it doesn't make the final cull (for practicalities of book length). It's an unconventional love story.
I've been working on the manuscript for my second memoir, Bipolar Courage: are you sure you're not autistic?
The book is mainly about an intense online connection with an autistic man, whom I have called Maxwell. Xavier is my son who shares a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome with Maxwell. Leo is Xavier's father. Patricia is a psychologist (she said she's honoured to be in the book, by the way). All names are changed, of course. I've just written a draft section that might be still be condensed or even have some edited out. I wanted to share the extract here, under 'Maternity Ring.' I did a bit of work on my memoir this past week. Then, tonight, I decided to have another sort out. Some things got burned, some put into another location. It's like sorting out my mind, as I've processed things. Whatever I have kept has the potential to be used later, creatively.
I'd lived in the same house for 18 years and then after that, I moved house a lot. I can't be bothered working out the number but it's probably over 20 times. I never actually owned a bed before, on my own. Any bed (and the odd couch) I'd slept in was either owned by someone else or was co-owned. I got married in my early twenties (now divorced).
Divorce is a painful thing to go through but on the flip side, I don't need to try please someone else at my own expense. I don't see myself getting married again. I can't even be bothered dating. I am too busy with my own projects. It's actually freeing to have this mindset. Today, for the first time ever, at the age of 50, I bought a bed. All by myself. My own bed. I'm really adulting now (best I can with my disabilities). |
Xanthe Wyse('Zan-thee Wise'). Disclaimer: the author of this blog is not an expert by profession and her opinions should not be taken as expert advice.
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