I will try again tomorrow

I felt overwhelmed, burnout with low mood today. I didn't make it to work today after two weeks annual leave. I'm not going to detail here why I am so stressed (other than linked to my Dad dying recently).

I talked to a doctor today and she said she could issue me a medical certificate but that won't change the stressful circumstances linked to the bereavement. She suggested trying to get back into a routine, which includes my part-time job. I spent most of the day in hibernation, emerging for a walk in the evening.

In this blog post, I would like to highlight aspects of my annual leave.

Light at the end of a tunnel built in the 1800s

I went to visit my sister and her furkids. She lives too far for me to drive, so it was decided that I could fly down rather than go on the bus (would be over 5 hours on the bus). I was a bit anxious about the flight as there was a transfer from a propeller plane to a jet plane and it's been 8 years since I last flew.

I happened to sit next to a mental health nurse on the first flight and he decided to wait for me to get off the plane. Perhaps he could see I looked bewildered? He took me straight to the assisted travel counter, which I noticed was signposted for people with disabilities. I didn't even say what my disabilities were but the assistant had me follow (going as fast as we could) as the second plane was already boarding. She barged in front of the queue to get my bag scanned so I could get onto the flight.

When I arrived, I had no idea where to go (I was a bit disorientated), so followed the other passengers. Then, I was the last one there, with no bag. My checked bag wasn't there. I stood there for a bit, not knowing what to do, then I saw a phone on the wall that said 'for help'. It seems my bag wasn't transferred and the airline said they would find it and deliver it by courier the following day.

Plum

It had been a long day (it was my birthday) and I had a big sleep in and lots of rest while my sister was at work. I spent quite a bit of time in her swing chair. All the pets (5 of them) were relaxed in the peaceful sanctuary my sister has made.

Moon comfy on the bed

At least two of the cats (the most timid ones) slept on the bed with me. Including Moon, who went from a homeless cat to being a house cat.

Pip

My sister also likes nature walks and we went for some walks with her dog, Pip. I was surprised at how fast Pip could run. All I wanted to do for my break away was peaceful things, like rest and walks. No city stuff.

The above pic was from a lookout with a view of Kapiti Island. I haven't been there before. I haven't altered the saturation etc. It really did look very intensely blue.

Robin at the sanctuary

We went for a walk around a wildlife santuary. At least three different robins sat on my sister's shoe. Not sure if they thought her laces were a big, juicy worm.

Pic through my sunglasses

I was a bit anxious about the trip back, as we were looking at a train trip, shuttle then two planes. It was the transfers that made me feel anxious - whether I could get there in time. In the end, I caught a direct shuttle to the airport, which was expensive but less stressful. Managed to get onto the first plane. 

​I occupied myself taking pics looking out the window. I wore my sunglasses as there was a lot of glare. It was quite interesting looking at the clouds, coastline etc all made spectrumy with my sunnies.

Then, when the plane landed, an announcement was made that the second flight was cancelled. This was stressful as I had no idea where to go to get my bag (at least it arrived this time) and where the counter was we were told to go to. The airline was putting us on a bus, so it ended up being a way longer trip than if I'd just gone by bus. What was extra frustrating, is the airline didn't see needing to compensate in any way, such as a partial refund.

I slept a few days to recover from the stress of the travel.

There's been other stresses but I don't want to talk about that here. Nor do I want to share a pic of how crap I looked today (a tearful mess). I just don't want to share my vulnerability to that degree anymore.
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Try again

I went for a peaceful walk by the lake this evening, listening to music. I felt the urge to sing walking through a tunnel.

I told myself, 'I will try again tomorrow.' It's a stressful time of year with work, plus some extra stresses on top with work and in my current situation. Lots of things outside my control.

The doctor made an appointment for me with a health improvement person to help navigate some of the stresses. I already saw someone a few times, which was helpful (as I am now only having ACC counselling with a psychologist every fortnight).

I made a little video clip of some of the birds from the sanctuary. It features my sister's voice and laughter (she is anonymous, like all my family is). We both like to paint and we both like nature.
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Update

I managed to go to work today (day after writing this blog post). Managed to get through it, got home and had a sleep crash (from exhaustion).