I destroy stuff but some survives the process

Two unexpected blog posts tonight, while listening to music and culling digital files. I managed to delete a whole heap of raw videos from a hard drive. Copied over a few nature ones from a few years ago, in case I make a composite video or two for my channel (waterfalls etc). I do more visual type stuff when having a break from working on my books. 

I have destroyed various awards etc over the years. When sorting, came across this, which is (nearly) the only thing connected to an award I won over a decade ago. There's actually still a YouTube video of me made by someone else, but it's in my old name, so I don't want to link it. I requested media to take anything down about me under my old name, which they did. These awards don't even exist anymore. I destroyed the certificate after someone lied that I paid for it.

I also destroyed a writing award a university degree and a teaching diploma that had my previous names on it. Not like I can use them anyway. Years ago, I destroyed all my school awards. Mum still had a lifesaving award that I'd earnt years ago, when I was a teenager (even though I wasn't a great swimmer, I worked hard). The scene in my semi-autobiographical novel, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice, where it ended up in the local cemetery, yes, that did happen (although all the characters are composites).

Sometimes, it can be therapeutic to smash crap up as part of processing to help move on. Some things get buried, dug up, buried again. These parts of Pet Purpose are memoir, buring the award then digging it up to re-bury it:

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Composting

Compost, process artwork by Xanthe Wyse

The above orginal art work, started off as angry scribbles with felt pen and colour pencil (loads of messy swear words). Time passed, then when I was calm, I picked out patterns with acrylic inks. Made it look a bit like stained glass. A different perspective. Most of what I write also gets destroyed. My blogs is minimally edited but my books have a LOT of rewriting and culling building interlinking complex layers like my paintings. That's my creative process.