Compelled to create
'Maxwell' (whom I'm writing about in my memoir) said that I'm 'compelled to create.' I was thinking today about what being creative means to me. Of course, this is also a complex interaction with other traits, such as my introversion and mental health struggles (both of which Maxwell also has). I think Maxwell is also a creative, yet hasn't fully untapped his creative potential yet. Some of our shared traits is why we connected, I think. Other than mutual attraction.
Whereas, a creative who is extroverted and who doesn't have mental health struggles may have quite different characteristics. I recall some years back, someone mentored me and said I was yet to fulful my creative potential. This person was right. Now my creative expression is my entire meaning of life.
I'll make a list of creative traits that apply to me. The painting below, Soar Purpose, was inspired by my connection with Maxwell. Which also inspired the title of a novel I am still writing called Soar Purpose and this blog.
My creative traits
Soar purpose - from sore to soar
I did the painting, Soar Purpose 3 years ago. The painting is a metaphorical self-portrait. The video is taking it from the dim lighting of my room out into daylight, for the first time. I had to dig through my files to upload it but I knew where to find it. It's such a symbolic painting to me, that I haven't destroyed it, sold it nor given it away. I see it every day. The bird is flying towards the goal of completing two novels, Pet Purpose and Soar Purpose.
I've written more about it beneath the video.
I'd written in my journal (a simple scrapbook) at the time of painting Soar Purpose:
'flew outside (free)...express...Soar Purpose (reveal) full daylight (looks different). Symbolic art (metaphors) self-portraits. Processing. Storytelling. Sore to soar. My story - will keep telling it again & again in different forms - paintings, stories, metaphors - until someone hears & understands. Soar Purpose = reveal into full light (not planned, improvise as go). Expressing without saying a word. Tell stories - visual art, novels. Soar Purpose = sequel."
I'd noted that the painting started off as 'Painting Hope' - my psychologist had suggested I paint what hope is, when I was struggling to find a reason to stay alive.
The painting was also done when I was developing an attraction to Maxwell, the main person I am writing about in my memoir, Bipolar Courage, which I am aiming to self-publish this year. We were in the getting to know each other on a deeper level stage.
After I've published Bipolar Courage (which was actually going off on a tangent), I will get back to my bigger goal of completing Soar Purpose. Both stories have a lot of symbolism I want to weave in, so it takes time.
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