ARTIST Sensitive to light and Sound

I am currently retreating into gentle music with headphones. To drown out environmental sounds which are causing me extra stress (especially sounds like other people's speaking voices).

Doctors called my heightened sensitivity to sound  'hyperacusis', which is experiencing discomfort and even pain with sounds that don't bother other people.

Sun Flutter, acrylics on canvas by Xanthe Wyse

The hyperacusis is even worse when I am under stress, am anxious, have a bad post-traumatic stress (PTSD) flare, have a bad fibromyalgia flare, have a migraine. Those things can be separate or all go together.

I've been under extra stress, I think in part as Easter is a trauma anniversary plus I had a car accident a few days ago.

I have four more part-time days of work to go, then I will be on leave for a few weeks. If I'm not up to driving tomorrow, I will walk to work (my work is in various stores). Sometimes, I need to take music or earplugs to drown out sounds.

I also have heightened sensitivity to light (glare mainly), touch and smell. Much worse when any of the above are flaring up (anxiety etc). Heightened sensory issues can also be an autism spectrum feature (a psychiatrist said I am on the autism spectrum but thinks I am subthreshold for an Autism Spectrum Disorder, ASD diagnosis). I meet criteria for an older diagnosis called Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) aka clincially significant autism spectrum features.

The extreme sensitivity has improved a little with treatment for PTSD. I still have PTSD, despite treatment (5 years of trauma therapy with a clinical psychologist). Art has actually been my main therapy and I'm passionate about art as therapy as it's accessible to anyone. (Reminder: there are different modes of art, not just my preference for painting then writing).

I score high on a 'highly sensitive person' scale, and I suspect most artists would have high sensitivity. For me, art is a form of expression beyond words but it's also a emporary retreat and escape from the stresses of this world. Painting with acrylic paints is my preferred medium, although, I tried oils, watercolours, pastels and pencil. Plus done some digital paintings.

One of the reasons I didn't continue with oils is that I couldn't stand the smell of the solvents.

My primary diagnoses are bipolar disorder (type 1) and PTSD. A lot of people with bipolar disorder have a creative streak. I tend to have a much messier art style with a lot more movement, experiment more and use more vibrant colours when my mood is elevated.

Currently, I have extremely frayed nerves. Feeling extremely irritated when I hear any annoying sounds. Hence music (and visual arts) as a coping mechanism. Note that this only works when I get to choose the music and the volume (lower when I feel like this). Other people blasting their music can be annoying but also extremely irritating.

Also, some colour combinations might be migraine inducing depending on how am feeling. I wear prescription sunglasses when driving during daylight hours (to reduce glare). Glare can be painful.

I am avoiding other people as I might not be able to hide my current irritability (which then affects relationships). I call it hibernating, as I am in my room, working on a creative project. At other times, I might get out for a walk.

On the plus side, I finished a painting, Sun Flutter, a butterfly on a sunflower, inspired by the monarch butterflies that visited my little garden corner.

I have taken some photos of Sun Flutter in natural light for fine art prints. Thank you to a friend in the USA for the creative name suggestion plus some more information about butterflies.

The photos are a little different from the photos under with artificial light, taken with my phone. I paint indoors under artificial light.

I will write a separate blog post on my art blog how I prepare my art for fine art prints. After I've had a little rest (a rest can include going for a walk).

I scribbled some notes earlier (below) to decipher to write about that topic. Hopefully I can read my own scribbles later to try put things in a more logical order.