Reflections on 2024

In two hours time, it will be 2025 in New Zealand. I've already taken my sedating meds, so I won't be heading out to check out the fireworks display (if it's still happening). Will aim to summarise in a blog post some key highlights from 2024 (if I don't get too sleepy to type).

Dyed my hair 'dark chocolate' a few days ago

I'm currently on holiday from my part-time job (merchandiser). I made myself gluten-free pizza then painted to get through Christmas (by myself). I wasn't actually expecting to get any paintings done at all for December, so ended up doing two. 

Somewhere, in between, I dyed my hair 'dark chocolate' (ammonia-free box dye) as I felt like a subtle change. A few shades darker than what my hair was. I hadn't coloured my hair for years. It looks dark black-brown in some lights with rich highlights in other light.

The final painting for 2024 is called 'Golden Hour'. A video clip of some of the final layers is below. With a voice over, reflecting on this past year. After the video, I will type up a general summary.

Summary of 2024

In no particular order, some of the highs and lows of 2024:

• I was involved in a car crash (uninjured but shaken).
• I visited my son in Australia. First time overseas in nearly a decade.
• Red Ribbon achievement in independent international writing awards.
• 3 of 3 'commended' achievement in national amateur photography awards.
• Bought a bike (first time in my life owned a new bicycle.
• Fell off my bike, injuring my knee and big toe (plus lots of bruising).
• Lifted my bodyweight on horizontal bars (took regular, consistent effort to build the strength).
• Climbed partway up a mountain.
• Two knee injuries this year (not 100% sure how got one: think it was from tripping).
• Group art exhibition of my paintings.
• Painted over 20 paintings this year.
• Launched a hobby art business (which basically meant I went semiprofessional with my art).
• Post-viral bronchitis recently was a set back for my regular exercise etc.
• Ended therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD (nearly 6 years of therapy).
• Been exploring my singing voice (lower than it used to be).
• Planted a memorial tree with my sisters for Dad.
• Been flatting with a young family for over a year.
• Spoke up about the value of the arts at a public hearing (very stressful but feedback was I had a powerful and courageous voice).
• Caught up with some friends who had me as a guest for a few days.
• Improving my photography skills.
  
• I sold Soar Purpose the painting (was finally ready to let go).
  
• Was recovering from burnout multiple times.​​

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New Normal

Near the end of last year was a time of huge turmoil, with Dad's death and no choice but to find somewhere to live. I leaned heavily into painting to get through it.

I was also still having therapy. Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) have preapproved 20 more sessions in the next three years, should I need it. Part of my maintaining as much capacity as I can, with a 'mental injury' is to continue to work part time and have a lower stress lifestyle.

Overall, 2024 was leaning into the stability of my coping mechanisms. Helpful in this was healthy connections with family.

I made a decision today, that it was time to stop vlogging as Bipolar Courage. I didn't see myself as an advocate anymore. Not for over a year. I'm tired of the mental health and disability stuff and the politics that goes with it. It's draining. It's not my entire identity. Just challenges I deal with.

It's been a gradual process of transitioning away from Bipolar Courage to Soar Purpose. 

My hobby art business actually comes under Soar Purpose, which is the banner for my creative expression. Plus the title of a book I am taking forever with.

I recorded a 'goodbye' video today for Bipolar Courage. I think I've said everything I can say about mental health-themed stuff. Will be leaving the channel up for now as a resource.

My 'normal' might look different to other people's idea of 'normal' but I just want to get on with my life best I can, with optimising as much capacity as I'm able.

What's in Store for 2025

I am not one to make New Year's resolutions. I do however make flexible goals, at any time of the year, including a very challenging purposeful goal (with no hard deadlines). I may tangent, which results in a more interesting journey, but I get there eventually.

One flexible and achievable goal I made this past year was to paint at least one painting per month. If I painted two, it was a bonus. I have exceeded that goal. I am now upping my goal to at least two paintings per month.

I also had a flexible goal of climbing to the top of the mountain. With two knee injuries and the prolonged bronchitis, that goal might not be realistic. I will keep working on consistent and regular fitness maintenance though. My regular fitness goals are aiming for one bike ride weekly plus at least two to three walks per week. Plus some toning exercises of some sort (I mix it up).

I am not currently feeling the passion or inspiration for writing Soar Purpose, even though Soar Purpose (ultimately creative expression) is the purpose which has kept me going. However, I have learned with becoming more consistent with painting, that one doesn't really need to feel inspired. Just get started. Sometimes, it's frustrating. But one grows and learns from every experience.

I am aiming in 2025 to become more consistent about my book writing. It's the final instalment in my books about relationships with disabilities. Inspired by my experiences.

Any of my other hobbies (singing, photography etc) are just a bonus, when I feel like it. I switch between my preferred creative activities to avoid and manage burnout.

Not sure if I will get any customers but I am offering a custom virtual colour analysis service. Combining my knowledge in art, science and photography. I am also sharing some tips about music basics (eg how to form chords etc).

Anyway, this should keep me plenty busy. Learning to balance activity and rest.

Happy new year!